Studio Upgrade Part 1: The Waiting

Greetings kiddos!

I've decided to chronicle the upgrade of Crucial Fiction Studios, which as you might have figured out, is my personal home studio.

This first blog will consist mostly of me explaining my recent frustrations and the reason for the sub-heading "the waiting...". In the next installment, I will spend the time explaining in detail the transformation from my old home studio, to my new sexy beast of a semi-real deal studio, complete with photos and a fairly comprehensive breakdown of the new equipment I will now have the pleasure of using in my musical arsenal. I know there are a few of you who are actually interested in knowing what technological toys people use, and all three of you will be in luck....but not until the next blog.

So here's my story so far:

I've had a small project studio for a little while now, which I've put to good use so far doing the preproduction for Sweet Painful Reality in 2002, and the entire production of Empyreal Progeny in 2003 and 2004. Lately I have been reaching the limitations of what my current set up can do, and therefore, with the help of some generous investments, I have been acquiring the necessary components of my much needed (and very exciting) studio upgrade.

I have been an avid ProTools user for many years now (pun intended for those that get it). So when I found an amazing deal on Digidesign's website advertising a Protools LE 7 bundle with a Control 24 and a bunch of extras for a discounted price, I jumped at the opportunity.

Oddly, Digidesign did not offer the super sweet package through their own website, but instead directed me to the nearest authorized dealer - in this case a local Guitar Center. With money in my account and a twinkle in my eye (dramatization), I skipped the light fandango into said Guitar Center and promptly asked the first competent looking sales associate in the Pro Audio section to order in the aforementioned bad ass bundle.

Well, after looking in their system for several minutes seeming confused, the associate told me he had to look on Digi's website himself to figure out what the deal was. Armed with this new online information, he searched their computers yet again to no avail. Finding no information, he decided to call Digidesign personally and ask them about this ProTools bundle. I guess they must have cleared things up, as he seemed confident that he could get it in, but they required a down payment before he could put the order through. No problem, I can do that.

The next day I waltz (thats a slow 3/4 with accents on 2 and 3) into the place ready to put down the money and get the ball rolling on my extreme joy. I have to admit I am rather naive when it comes to financial matters, and not realizing that there is a limit on debit cards (I know, it's stupid of me), tried to put this multi-thousand dollar purchase in its entirety, on the card.

Nope. WHA??!! Lets try it again.

Nope. Huh? I'm good for the money, what's the deal?

Now I get the fun of being on hold for a half hour while calling the bank to authorize a large purchase on my card, and the hold music is terrible. Finally I get a person on the line and I tell them the situation and ask them to help me make this purchase. I receive the information that I need to call to local branch instead, then she transfers me and I get to listen to the great hold music again. SWEET!!! So far, so good.

I'm an easily frustrated person, but I'm willing to endure a bit more then normal to get my god damn ProTools system.

Still holding.....

Ah! A person!

"Still there sir? Sorry. They should pick up any second now."

Neat. So i decide to hit the speaker button on the phone to entertain the Pro Audio associate with the shitty hold music.

The same lady gets on the line again, asks for my number and tells me they will call me back in a few minutes. Oh good.

Guess what? More time passes and then I finally get a call from the bank. With a long sigh, I answer the phone.

"My name is so and so (he had hippy parents) and I need to verify some recent transactions for security purposes."

Now they think I have stolen my own credit card. So now I am put into the awkward place of trying to prove that I am indeed who I say I am, and that the recent "purchases" (which didn't even go through) were made by that same person (me).

After all of this, I still can't use my card to pay for what I'm here for, but at least, thank god, I know that I am me.

So I bypass everything and just get a cashiers check. Problem solved!! It's smooth sailing from here on out!! THE ENTIRE REST OF MY LIFE WILL BE EASY PICKIN'S!! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!! So I hand it over with relief and get assured that everything will arrive next wednesday. Sounds good.

The following days pass at an agonizingly slow pace. I spend most of my time online staring at the photos of the awesome technological heroin I would soon overdose in.

Wednesday finally rears its ugly head after so much taunting. I run into Guitar Center like Calvin checking the mailbox for his propeller beanie. I ask with doe eyes about my package...my protools package. After making a few calls to other sales associates, I get informed that it did not arrive that day, but it should be there the very next day. DAMN YOUSE!!!!

Thursday I happen to be in the neighborhood, and decide to stop in and check on my baby. Again I get shot through the heart, and they are to blame. Nope. No Protools sexiness for me. try again the next day. ARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!

On Friday I wise up a little, and call first. If you have been reading this far, I'm sure you can guess what happens next:

BOOBS.

Good. You're still with me. Anyway, yes, they don't have it. Obviously I am very frustrated by now having gone home with blue balls several times in a row.

The next week is spent primarily waiting until Guitar Center opens, calling them to bug them about my shipment, being bitterly disappointed, then crying into a pint of Heath Bar Crunch.

Then I get a call from my friend at Guitar Center telling me that he spoke to Digidesign, and no one seemed to know what was going on with my package (feel free to giggle at the word package). Nothing had even shipped and apparently they didn't have many of the pieces necessary to complete the glory of the bundle.

What??!! If you advertised that you were selling something, wouldn't you make sure you actually had a good number of that product in your inventory to actually sell to people who have money? Sure you would, because you subscribe to obvious logic.

Okay, so they don't have all of the parts and they won't let my friend at G.C. fill in those missing pieces with products he has on hand at his store. Swell. I have an idea! How about I wait a long time!!??

It's been two weeks since then and I have been in contact periodically with my "dude" at G.C. who has usually just spoken to someone at Digi again, and gives me similar news: "they still don't have the parts, sorry. But you are their top priority now."

Awww gee. Just give me the fucking bundle!

After a few more monotonous set backs, things have finally shipped and now I am just waiting for it to come in (this time for real we think....). My new time frame is earliest tomorrow (saturday) and most likely Monday / Tuesday. I can't type the word 'sigh' enough.

Well, I wasted too much of your time with my bitching for the night. Soon I will have my vindication in hardware and software form and I will rejoice to the heavens above (or below if you are cocky. See: "Raining Unlike Water").

Next blog should be 100% bitch-free, and instead be bloated with silly photos and technical jargon!