Ted Nugent: Anti-American Hypocrite

Going through Google Reader sunday morning led me to an article that renewed my intermittent shame on being lumped in with certain Americans, simply by being born here. Recently Ted Nugent (of Cat Scratch Fever Fame, and redneck stereotype) issued a statement in a column for the Waco Tribune-Herald:

Observe how the Obama media machine and soulless liberal media jumped on Rush Limbaugh’s comments that he “wanted Obama to fail.”

Anyone with a half a brain knows Rush wants only this: for America to succeed and for anti-American policies to fail. 

Someone with half a brain, sure. Someone with an entire brain sees how blatantly hypocritical that statement is, which I'll get to momentarily. But first off, how the hell do you know what Rush "really" means by his hate-mongering statement? To give it a quick psychological spin for a second, Ted, it is your interpretation of Rush's statements, combined with your own self-projection that give you this insight into what America's half-brained are thinking.

And what a way to add a fast, over-generalized character tarnishing:

"the Obama media machine and soulless liberal media". 

Do you just subscribe to the Rush Limbaugh eMail Talking-Point And Hate-Slander Newsletter? Congrats sir, you never have to form your own opinion again!

I'm so sick of the scapegoat phrase "liberal media" being used by those who feel that their ideas are being scrutinized for being poor ideas. That's right Ted, blame it on the faceless collective known as The Media (scary music plays). And since when is "reporting the news" distinctly liberal? Does that imply that not reporting the news is thereby the soulful conservative media?

So according to humanist philosopher "Nuge", for America to succeed, these so-called "anti-american" policies need to fail, eh? How about a little more enlightened progressive thinking? What if (and I know this sounds crazy), we try things that may have the potential to benefit the people of the country, regardless of whether those ideas are "American" or not? If it works, and society as a whole is more positive, taken care of, better educated and more productive, why can't we incorporate those ideas into what we are? Isn't progress American? Didn't progress get us to where we are today? (sans the Catholic church of course). Don't we want the best for ourselves? If you answered "yes" to any of these, then it seems your current ideology is outdated and is in need of restructuring to match the more socially progressive country we are slowly becoming. If the answer is "no", then you are anti-American, Mr. Scratch-Feverson.

To leave no doubt where I, your humble Motor City guitarslinger, stands, let me report without ambiguity, that I get down on bended knee daily and pray to God that he does what he can to ensure President Obama fails.

Humble, my ass. But yes, Ted, there is no doubt about your perspectives as you seem to want to create a laughable towering stereotype of yourself, that desperately conforms to any and all conceptions, and even misconceptions, of what a biased christian conservative republican redneck is.

To repeat: I pray for President Obama to fail.

What a douche (and I should probably add "redneck" again, since I rarely get to use the word). Not because his opinion and my opinion of the current president are possibly different. No, no. He is a douche for wanting the leader of the country he lives in to fail. Put it this way: If he did anything about this, as in made actions and plans to ensure that Obama will "fail", he is committing treason. Seriously. Now how American is that? Apparently very.

"I love America! I'm pro-America, and a patriot. . . for America! Now I want to see America suffer and crumble by praying to a supernatural divine authority that the current president, who does not share every one of my currently held views, will destroy this country through policies that are different from ones that were in place in the past, which scares me on the simple fact that they are different, thereby teaching him a lesson about his wrong-ness. . . and more importantly, my right-ness."

"What about all of the people who will be affected by his failure?"

"They need to learn their lesson too! They voted for a guy that I personally don't agree with. That'll show 'em! I need to be right."

Fuck, man. I was never a fan of Bush, like many, many others. I really don't talk about that much since it is such a redundant, trite topic. But even with my dislike of many the policies, ideologies and general personality of the former president, I never wished (since I don't pray) that he would fail. It's a simple trickle-down lesson. What do you think happens to us if the president fails? Good things? Rejoicing? Life lessons learned by all and then back to work as normal?

No. We get raped too. If our president literally fails, or our government literally fails, we, the people, feel the brunt of the storm. Therefore what the "Motor City guitarslinger" is really praying for (in terms of consequences), is that the American people fail, hurt, and shrivel up in as many ways as possible. God bless America! (Except for the president, and anyone who disagrees with you, or does things in a different way then you).

Yes, even though I personally disliked Bush, I still wanted him to do the best job he could. Why? Because it would be beneficial for me! This is important, so I'll repeat it: To wish the president will fail is to wish the American people will fail. In my book, that is truly anti-American. Oh! Burn! The sweet, sweet irony!

Like Rush, I wouldn’t want Obama to fail if his agenda weren’t built on feeding the gluttonous, unaccountable Fedzilla beast, so clearly the enemy of the free market, of real jobs and proven economic growth.

Since that is Obama’s agenda, however, those of us who believe in a limited federal government and the wondrous wealth-and-job-creating free market should hope, pray and work to ensure Obama’s anti-free market policies fall flat on their face.

Again, Theodore, you prove your amazing ability for direct insight into another human mind, this time with clairvoyance and precognition. Do you also read palms?

Hey reader! Were you aware there is only one proven way to achieve economic growth and create "real" jobs? (As opposed to those pesky phantom jobs). That would instantly make any other methods of economic growth or job creation complete bullshit right? Damn, the economy is so easy! Thanks Nuge!

Just for fun, let's pretend that the current model for doing business in America is not perfect. Just pretend. And now let's take it a step further and say that there are aspects of the current model for doing business that are being taken advantage of, and possibly causing harm to a large group of people. Should we still champion that philosophy as a whole? (Well yes, but still, should we?)

Just because aspects of something work, does not mean that everything about it does.

The free market philosophy has both strengths and weakness (like EVILution (yes, that is a joke)), as do other forms of doing business. We don't need to completely abandon one entire structure to implement ideas from another. Not every decision needs to be so black and white. "Either we are a democracy, or we are satanic, pedophiliac, mass-murdering shit-eaters!" Mmmmmmm. Feces.

One would have to be brain-dead to want to return to the economic doldrums of the Carter years and further embrace European-style socialism. But that’s where it appears America is headed with Obama in charge.

Not everything within a given ideology is inherently bad. Not every idea within Islam or Christianity promotes hatred of others (surprisingly). Not every movie by Michael Bay will be god awful (surprisingly). Some aspects of Socialism and yes, even communism, could actually be beneficial, if implimented in the right way.

Look at Denmark. Recent surveys say they are the happiest country in the world. Free health care and free higher education means smarter and healthier people. Is that an evil thing? If something works, despite its sociopolitical label, why should we not use it? Who cares what it's called, as long as the country is all the better for it. Oh, thats right. Teddington and Rushy-poo care.

As for Rush, his ratings have increased. More have tuned in to a wonderful show where the man entertains and informs us. He’ll take on the libs with half his brain tied behind his back, just to make it fair.

Wow, biased much? Now, I personally would have a hard time calling Rush, or his show "wonderful", but that is just my personal opinion, and entirely subjective. Teddy is welcomed to think that. Regardless of personal ideology, Rush is the last person I would put synonymously with human equality. He creates a strong "us and them" mentality for his listeners, which is similar to that of many of the wacky conspiracy theorists. He is a bastion of REgressive, instead of PROgressive social values, which incidentally are the ones that move us (get this) forward.

Ted spews out more of the "us and them" mentality coupled with the black and white dualistic approach by using the word "libs". Obviously short for liberals. Meaning anyone who is liberal about something, including recipes calling for salt and pepper. You and I know that everyone is easily categorized into two columns of good and bad, right and wrong. Now you see that anything that is liberal is pure badness. Oh, and stupid apparently. Don't forget stupid.

Yes, there are things that are considered Liberal that I don't think are great either. But does he not see that there are some conservative philosophies that are negative as well? Probably not, as Mr. "Gonzo" seems be the type of person who likes to subscribe fully to an ideology, even when there are things within it that could be proven negative or incorrect. This makes it easier for him to be identified in quick terminology, instead of being of being one of the ridiculous people who refuse to label themselves with the all-encompassing title of two blanket perspectives. I wonder what that reminds me of?

Remember your history and pray for President Obama to fail. I fear for America if we allow him to succeed.

Okay, you see that? That's the very thing I hate about people in the mind set of Douche Fuck: Texas Ass Cunt. He "fears" for America if he (Obama) succeeds. What does success really mean here? Let's say Obama puts his plan into action and they create no jobs and put the country further into economic anal sludge, oh and everyone is godless and soulless, can't forget that important thing (it's not actually important or relevant, yet Ted still makes that "point"). Would that be a success? I highly doubt it.

A success means, not only were Obama's "half a brain" leftist, other-trash-talking-insults policies implemented, but they actually worked. Helped people. Made jobs, money, health care, education, infrastructure, jelly beans, significantly better. That is success. And this zebra-striped machine-gun-holding jerky enthusiast is fearing for something that works? What a dick. What an arrogant self-righteous human-hating dick.

Many seem to have a very skewed idea of what America stands for and what it is supposed to be. In fact I'm sure we all have a slightly different vision. I personally would love to see a society that comes back to the idea that being intelligent is a good thing; that what is best for the whole and the individual can be balanced; that humans, and all humans, should always be the top priority; that progress should be embraced, if not encouraged and incentivized; and the promotion of new ideas and perspectives are seen as vital to our positive development as individuals and as a society.

Ted Nugent: your advocacy of failure for our president, country and people is fear-based, hateful, regressive and most off all, anti-American. You are a hypocritical treasonous douche bag, but are still completely within your rights to publicly express your dissenting opinion, thanks to your progressively-minded, freethinking, socially-liberal founding forefathers. You're welcome.


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72 Degrees In The Head, All The Time

This is a topic I've been thinking about for quite some time, and just got reminded of it the other day while working at my lowly "paying the bills" job. I tend to get rather frustrated and angry at small things pretty often, and during a typical peak dinner rush at the restaurant, I quickly got pushed into one of my predictable "hate everything and everyone" moments.


This actually does not bother me much (the fact that I'm in that mood. . . I know, strange) as often times I can use that mode to come up with some pretty witty, and vehement things to say, or stories to write down later. What DOES piss me off (besides getting pissed off in the first place) is when someone tries to calm me down, or tell me that I should not feel that way because [insert ridiculous optimistic bullshit reason here].

When someone tries to do that I can't tell you how much that makes me want to rip off their genitals. It literally increases my negative mood by a factor of 10, easily. How dare you try and tell me what things should and should not affect me and how I should or should not respond to them.

But what this really gets me thinking about (after I am no longer filled with pure buttery rage), is the perspective of the person thinking I should not be feeling such and such way. Whether it's anger, stress, or depression, supposedly I'm not supposed to feel that way. Were you aware of that?

If you talk to most people, or (*gulp*) watch TeeVee, you'll notice a common notion: all people are supposed to be happy all the time! Seriously, who doesn't encourage you to look on the bright side of things, or tell you not to feel bad about something, or not to get upset about things? They all do, and I'm fucking sick of it. Allow me to explain. Seriously, allow me to explain, you're pissing me off.

Since the moment I hit puberty (<-- heh heh, puberty), I've been a very emotionally affected person. I'm not sure if I would go all the way to "bipolar", but I regularly hit some pretty low lows, but not so much of the highest highs (which I guess would rule out manic depression). Still, my emotional self has had a strong grip on me, and even more so in the last five-ish years. Depression, and long bouts of it, are quite common for me, with my amazing counter-balance being indifference, or dare I say the rare, and sought after "meh". (That, to me, is wonderful).

I'm sure a few of you may be already saying, "that doesn't sound very good."

Well, sure. On the surface using traditional social values and a short-term generation-X inspired dualistic approach, it does seem that way. Try looking at it in a non-obvious way for a moment please.

It's as if most people think that feeling anything below happy is unnatural and therefore bad. Since when did we get this foolish and deluded notion that we are supposed to be happy all of the time? Well, there are some interesting theories that go back to the turn of the century. No, the other century.

In the early 1900s, life was a bit more challenging than we have it today, and regular people did not have the impression that they needed to be constantly happy. (Don't believe me? Go back in time and ask them). Most people only purchased what they needed, and what was absolutely necessary (like building the eiffel tower, which serves its much needed purpose as a . . . let's get back to the story). However, Freud was just beginning to publish papers on human psyche and emotion, which caught the eye of advertisers, marketing firms and businesses. Suddenly there was a new technique to get people to buy your products, especially those products that were not a necessity: appeal to their emotional desires (which by now you've guessed includes the Jane Fonda Workout on Betamax, and a liberal dose of double penetrations).

By targeting how a product could make their clients feel, they opened up an entire new era in social economics by creating the first generation of consumers. Look how this shiny pocket watch makes you feel better about yourself, due to your inadequate genitals! Look at this new Model T automobile that will make you feel like a free, and successful person, despite your inadequate genitals! This new makeup, clothing, beverage will . . . . blah blah blah feel. . . . blah blah blah genitals. You get the idea (you're inadequate).

Fast forward to today's TeeVee ads, and you'll see the same notions, now on steroids (which I can sell you if you are feeling inadequate). Every commercial shows you how happy the people are now that they are using the product. Always smiling and laughing, it almost does not matter what the product does, as long as you can feel the way those actors are pretending to feel for money. Right?

I swear, people feel that they are literally entitled, nay, they deserve to be happy, as if it were a given. Happiness has permeated our culture and spread through each new generation as an expectation. Now we have a whole mess of young adults who think that every time they feel depressed or upset, something is wrong with them. This results in everyone taking medication, seeking psychotherapy or purchasing a sports car to cure their phantom non-happiness, which we need to continually have, if you have not picked that up yet.

Back to me (finally! I was getting pissed). Dealing with as much depression as I do, I've come to see that it's not a black and white situation. Though the feelings may not be fun to deal with in the interim, they can become a catalyst for positive long term change and growth. In fact, often it is only through the most awful experiences and feelings that I have been able to see something significant about myself that needed to improve or be destroyed by fudge (see the blog 2008: The Worst Year Of My Life).

By avoiding painful experiences, you are potentially avoiding crucial life lessons. . .about. . .life (duh). By being afraid of depression and pain you run the risk of being extremely dull and uninteresting. Yes, I am making the outright claim right here that pain makes people interesting.



This connects perfectly (it does, I said it, and it's my blog) to my recent post entitled "Leave Your Honesty At The Door", where I mentioned people's reactions to saying that I was mediocre. Mediocre is not bad, people. It is like luke warm, it just is. It consists of neither good nor bad, which really is a decent place to be, and in mind mind, is sort of the emotional default position.

Being depressed happens. Being angry is normal. You're never going to feel great all of the time, because that is an unrealistic, and unnatural state to be in constantly. Even if you did, you would never experience the balance that comes from living all aspects of human emotion, which in turn givs each emotion more value. I actually feel that I experience more of life by being so susceptible to strange emotions, and that therefore makes the 'happy' (that's a stretch for me) moment so much more memorable and worthwhile. Plus, if you really were always happy, and something positive happened, where would you go from there? Stupid-happy? Moronically-happy? Super-retard-idiot-happy?

I'm going to go sulk now.


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Run-In With The Beautiful People

Just recently at my restaurant I had a run-in with the beautiful people, leaving me doubting myself, and feeling a bit depressed for a good portion of the day. Put on your reading glasses, straighten your double-breasted suit, and join me for a rip-roaring romp through a psychological self-evaluation! Pass the popcorn!


It started when a very attractive, and fashionably hip young woman walked into my establishment (I say "my" as if I own the place, when in fact I am just peon working as a cupcake). She quickly caught my eye, as they do, with her long dark hair, near perfect, though most likely artificially enhanced body, and her stylistic mix up upscale meets edgy rocker look.

I smiled and tried to act no different then if I were just greeting two decrepit old people with walkers that had no sense of humor (I greet them more then I care to mention. Shit! I mentioned it!) Right off the bat, I expected the typical attitude from the "I know I'm attractive and therefore I don't have to be civil or kind" prejudgement of the girl, but instead she surprised me by being quite cordial, and friendly. She mentioned that she was waiting for one more person ( I naturally hoped it was not a guy), and she said she would wait for them to arrive. (Yes I understand that "them" usually mean plural, and is not used to denote an individual. Eat me.)

No sooner had she finished her sentence, when a tall, marble-sculpted young black man came walking through the door and gave the girl a hug. I was instantly disappointed (though for the record, I can't think of a time when I'm not), and instantly switched my background thoughts to a new tactic: find a reason to hate them.

He was clad in the male version of her manner of dress: upscale and hip, yet with the edgy rocker cool guy vibe. I waited for him to open his mouth and speak like an over-privilaged douche bag, or an ignorant dick wad (the only two choices, obviously). But, to my personal shock, he was well spoken, just like the girl, made good eye contact, smiled, and was even making friendly light jokes.

Now I was really upset. But in a strange new way.

My attempts to quickly write off these two stereotypical ideologies of the human species, as assholes and idiots, had suddenly backfired on me, and I was left feeling confused about my always trustworthy Bag O' Common Generalizations. That bag had rarely, if ever, failed me, and I figured my observational powers were becoming quite honed these days. So much for that. Good thing I purchased the extended warranty.

I also realized, mid-event, that this urgent need for me to find something to hate about them seemed to stem from my own insecurities. Yes, even in the midst of frustration, confusion and some other word that seems relevant here, I still manage to go into psycho-self-analyzation mode. (What can I say, that's just how my brain works). Within a few seconds I already began thinking that It was as if my self-image (which, if you know me, is always super positive and wonderful. . . . . . . . . . . . *cough*. . . . . . .) was being threatened by people straight out of a modeling magazine for the genetically gifted (as opposed to the opposite).

Now, I've really never been the person to chock up a lot of who I am to a delusion of my so-called "chiseled good looks", (of which I have none just to be clear), but it still did not help the ol' self esteem in the slightest.

I sat the two of them on the patio, and went back to my standing (of which I had a lot to catch up on from the other day). Here I stood in thought, slipping into the detrimental "compare and contrast" and beginning to feel stupid for feeling stupid.

Looking over toward one of the servers, I noticed that she also pointed out the couple (most likely for the near fictional male) to another female coworker, for the obvious reason of sheer attractiveness.

The more I shot glances their way, the more I realized that yet another element made things emotionally complicated for me about the situation: the girl very much resembled an ex-girlfriend. This "recent" relationship line of contemplation still won't leave me, and to be reminded of it in such a way that I can picture this girl as my ex-girlfirend, smiling, and enjoying herself with Ridiculously Attractive Man, felt like driving a serrated, rusty steak knife into my emotional psyche, and then rubbing owl turds into the wound. And by that I mean that I was dancing an enchanting Irish Jig.

In order for coincidence to order itself in such a way to make me that much more aware of the situation, two more super-sculpted über-hipters walked in and joined them at their increasingly sexy patio table. Instinctually I wanted to grab some velvet rope and section the table off with a sign reading, "Sexy Only".

If you've read any of my past blogs, you may know that I'm very keen on intelligence and personality being the most important factors in a worthy human being. I also would like to think that this mantra would stand tall in the face of adversity, being able to acknowledge the fact that these people were indeed overly beautified on the outside, but finding some vestige of solace in the development of my own mind, talents, and self-awareness.

No such luck for me. At that moment, and for a good while after that encounter with the pinnacles of biological development, I threw away my championing of intellect, wit, humor, and creativity. In one fell swoop all of my core values were rendered meaningless.

The mere observation of this fact added more depression on top of the previous frustration/confusion/self-image combo from earlier.

Who hasn't longed to be the one who is so insanely gorgeous, that everyone's heads can't help but follow you as you walk through a room? That everyone of the opposite (or same if you prefer) sex, has no interest in anyone but you, as you are all that is beautiful, all that is desirable, pure, unfiltered, walking talking sex.

Well, I'm not that person, and never have been. Save for a strange moment in my freshmen year of high school as the new guy, where a handful of little girls were reported to have a school girl crush on me (so I heard), I experienced nothing resembling being the beautiful one. I usually feel that I go unnoticed in most social settings, and I attract no special attention due to my appearance (especially now that I have short hair and don't wear crazy clothes around everywhere, in a silly youthful cry to be noticed). Although as I write this, I'm thinking that this might be purposefully designed as a way to blend in and escape. But what am I escaping from? Myself? Interesting. . .

Another blog. Moving on.

What I really want to hammer home, is how something as simple as a group of physically attractive people could cause such an internal conflict and disruption for me both mentally and emotionally, that I temporarily doubt my own hard fought and won convictions of who I am and what I value.

If I assume that a great many people would be attracted to these people (just me assuming), then why am I focusing so much of my time and energy on bettering myself in these esoteric philosophical bullshit ways? Who else besides me cares about the core content that I do? The emphasis on knowledge and understanding of the self and others? The importance of art, creativity and expression? Although I realize that these thoughts are, for the most part, unfounded, it didn't stop them from residing in my brain for a quick vacation.

In the end, I still value all of the concepts of existence that I have worked long and hard on, as well as those I've journeyed through personal pain and strife to discover. And I'm not sure if I was able to really learn something profound from the experience beyond the realization of how fragile my self-image and emotions can be over something that is, in reality, completely trivial. I guess I have a lot of work still ahead of me.


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Technorati Tags: beauty beautiful superficial personality insecurity social psychology self+doubt

The Lust Complex

How many males do you know that would be pissed off that a young woman would have the audacity to call him late at night for sex? Besides myself of course. . .

I've always had trouble separating love and lust into two distinct things. Since as far back as I can remember, which for the record is at least last tuesday (impressed much?), I've always seen these aspects as two sides of the same coin. If I'm romantically interested in someone, then most likely I'm also sexually interested in them.

Another factor that. . . well. . . factors into the equation, is that, for me, in order to be romantically interested in a young lady (or a really, really old one), I have to be, first and foremost, intellectually stimulated. And no, that does not mean rubbing your naughty bits on my brain.

As you can plainly (you need to add fresh fruit) see, with this multi step process, it would make some sense that it is very challenging for me to go from A to F (wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink) in a single bound.

If you've ever talked to someone before (if you have not, it's overrated), you might come across some similar perspectives on topics of sex, dating and relationships, most of which have nothing to do with my multi-tiered approach laid out above.

A friend of mine epitomizes this perfectly. He has absolutely no problem distinguishing between lust and love. And he has proved that fact more than almost anyone I've ever met. Trust me, I've been kept awake at night  many times by him proving that point.

And that is by no means the odd example. When talking to other, more (not to sound insulting) typical males, I hear very similar conversation topics, and views expressed. Who would "do" what girl, stories of them "doing" one or more girls (and of course, moving on right away to prove their detachment and personal prowess), and more of the like.

I specifically overheard one "gentleman" say, "What I wouldn't give to sleep with her", after a young lady and her friend sat down for lunch. Being more outspoken these days, I quietly told him, "You have no idea what her personality is like, for all you know she could be an awful human being". He looked at me like I was his church-going mother. "I don't give a shit", he replied. "Look at her. I wouldn't be with her for her personality".

Right. Because that would be stupid. Thank god everything we are as human beings is only on the outside!

So as you can see so far, I'm a bit at odds with the majority of males I've met, overheard or observed, in fact, that even holds true for many of the females I've known. This naturally presents complications for me in my . . .  what do you call it? . . .  social life. Being someone that craves intellectual stimulation first and foremost really does not bode well for the traditional dating circuit. Don't get me wrong, (oh shit, am I too late?) physicality is still quite essential to attraction, but after that initial attraction, I tend to dismiss women rather quickly, the very moment I realize that they cannot provide the strong personality, wit, humor, life and self perspective, creativity, and more that I now understand I need. In essence, they no longer appear attractive.

You want a personal story don't you? All right, all right.

I dated a girl on and off a few years ago. After not being in communication for a while we decided to meet up, grab a drink and catch each other up on what we've been doing. Mind you, this was not intended to be an actual date (at least for me), just someone from my past to hang out with and talk to. The conversation went quite well, due to the fact she brought out the side of herself that uses her brain, as opposed to her overtly sexual side, which as mentioned above, is a good thing for me. We said goodbye and went our separate ways (by Journey) and I thought that if things stayed that way, I might eventually be interested again.

I'm sure you guessed that did not happen. Well, next time we met up, she had already been at a party with some friends . . . a party with (get this) alcohol!! Who throws those kinds of parties? By the time she arrived, she was a bit tipsy, and proved it by not being able to focus on the conversation at hand, and continually interrupting me by being overly flirty and sexual.

Now, I'm sure that many of you, at this point, are thinking, ". . . .and? What's wrong with that? If an attractive woman wants to sleep with you, what is there to argue about?"

Let me try. As stated before, in order for me to be sexually turned on, I need to be romantically interested, and to be romantically interested, I need to be intellectually stimulated. That's just the way I'm wired.

What makes the situation humorous in hindsight, is the sort of role reversal taking place. I'm the one who wants to just talk, and she's the one pushing for sex. I'm assuming that is not typical, which is why it makes me smile.

Well, I can't tell you how fast I got irritated with her stupid behavior. Acting like a drunk personified libido, is not my cup of anything, let alone tea, and I directly let her know, and fairly coldly.

"You're really pissing me off right now," I told her point blank. "If this is how you're going to act I'm just going to go home."

She apologized, and tried to concentrate, barely accomplishing the "try". After a few more minutes I was done with the situation and ended the meeting. She even recalled out loud several times that she knew I needed to be intellectually interested (it's not like I did not tell her), and said that she was sorry that she was drunk and not fulfilling that for me.

Now we tie the whole story together with the intro. Ready? I'll start out by saying that I made a mistake last year with her that led me to understand that I don't want to be a "booty call". And it's important for you to understand that she knows this about me as well.

A week or so later I get a phone call at about two in the morning. I was already asleep, and basically slept through the call (basically, meaning I did). In the morning I checked my messages and lo and behold it was her, drunk, right after the bars and clubs closed. I wonder what she could possibly be calling about in that state? Could it be that she wants to debate the existence of a "soul", or talk about how badass Pro Tools 8 is?

Yes!

I mean NO!!

What else would it be? As I opened this story, I was genuinely pissed. Pissed because she should have known better. Pissed because she did know better. Pissed because the idea of doing what she did, drunk or not, showed disrespect to her "understanding" of me. Pissed because we had just talked about this no less than a week before, emphasizing my personal distaste for that type of behavior.

Having a perspective on sexuality like this only makes things all the more complex and difficult to find others that share and value the same things. You could view me as old-fashioned if you want, but if the new fashion consists of continual random sexual escapades devoid of genuine human value, interest, emotion, and depth, you can feel free to call me an "old stick in the mud". (who rarely puts his stick in the 'mud')

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Technorati Tags: romance relationships sex personal social psychology philosophy humor humour

My Target Demographic (apparently)

I found this kind of funny. As you know I have ads on my page, some from coming from Google. What Google is supposed to do is search through the content on my page and pull up relevant ads to fit the potential demographic. For instance, if I wrote about cars, it might see that key word and put up ads for an auto parts store, or car magazine, or if I wrote about feces, it would most likely display ads for Taco bell and Focus On The Family. You get the deal.


For the most part thus far, I tend to write about social observations, philosophy and relationships (and other sillier things). So when I was updating my page and came across this ad, I was a bit confused:







Either Google Ads hasn't really parsed my content, or they know something about the people coming to this site that I don't.

I would never think that the majority of people reading my page are svelte size zeros, nor does it matter, but I doubt you will be clicking on this really attractive, appetizing ad for cellulite reduction.

Maybe I just don't know who I'm catering to.

The Internet Comes To You (Sexually)

In the course of working on this new blog page, which you see here, (I’ll wait while you look at it. . . . . . . .) I've been doing quite a bit of research on internet technologies and promotion.

Why do you care about that?

Because I’ve learned some nice tricks that will help ease your inter-nard browsing experience, while simultaneously benefiting lil' ol' me.


I should say that if you are already proficient in, and understand RSS and Feed Readers, then this blog may be of no interest to you (except for the comments in parenthesis). If what I just said was the same as saying “&*@^&)__#†¥ø∑øµπ∑µ” then this Bud’s for you.

If you’re like me (I envy you), then you have multiple websites you visit daily. Be it local and world news sites, the latest reviews and updates on new products and technology, blogs from friends (*ahem*) and other sites dealing with your hobbies and interests. The annoying part is that you have to manually check each site individually to see if there are any new updates, and with 20 plus sites, each with many articles, that gets retard-oid (Not retard OLD. "OID". Not to be confused with OYD, which is like a jewish robot). Am I right people? Can I get one of those witnesses that people seem to ask for all the time?

Well, what if instead of going out to look for information and entertainment, the internet came to you?

(I feel like I’m on an infomercial now)

That’s what the whole RSS dealy-bob is all about. I’m sure you’ve seen the little orange square that has radio waves emanating out, yes? That’s the RSS feed (which stands for Really Simple Syndication, or Rhetorical Salivating Sandals, both are widely accepted). It allows you to read the contents of that feed in a Feed Reader (makes sense so far) or in the browser itself (which usually looks like an ugly blue and white screen, so don’t do it that way).

Check out the video below for a quick explanation of RSS:



Not too shabby eh?

Now we move onto the Feed Reader part. This is the hub where you receive all of the updates from all of those ridiculous sites you like to go to (by the way, I highly disapprove of your interests and so does the Lord).

Some readers are separate applications you install on your computer and some are online based, meaning you can bookmark your reader page, and it stores all the sites you subscribe to (remember those stupid ones) and brings you continual updates for everything right when it happens.

Below is a two part tutorial on using the reader I’ve been using from Google. Can you guess what the program is called? It’s from Google. . . . and it’s a reader. What is it? That’s right, “Plmunteenarionchlink”.

I recommend watching both videos as Ed (the guy) explains some really great tips to make the experience easier and faster (and easier) (too).





If you decided to actually make it through those, you may see how convenient and organized it can make things for you.

Obviously you can always click the little right facing arrow in a circle (or the blue title or the article) to go directly to the web page version to view the entire article (if they only include part, as some do), to see media and images, and of course, (and this one involves my site so pay attention please) to leave comments on blogs.  ---------------- *stares intensely*

WARNING: Although this saves me time in searching for information online, it’s actually pretty addicting to find new sites with RSS feeds and add them to your reader, thereby giving you too many things to read all day long. But the eventual upside is that by reading so much new information so rapidly, your brain will freakishly increase in size, and you will attain an understanding of everything that ever was, is, and will be. Give it about two weeks.

Hopefully you enjoyed this look at technology and it’s wondrous benefits. I’ll keep you posted with anything else that may be of interest to me, that helps you help me. To check out Google Reader go here: http://www.google.com/reader

Enjoy reading this blog? Please favorite, rate or bookmark this page, and most of all comment with your personal stories, observations, or violent objections.

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Technorati Tags: rss feed reader google web 2.0 humor homour sarcasm technology internet

Leave Your Honesty At The Door

"Hey, how are you doing?"

Don't Think. What was the first response that came into your head?

If you said anything remotely close to "fine", without really thinking about it, you're probably in line with most of us who have stopped treating such a greeting as a legitimate inquiry. In fact, if you'll observe how people use it in most everyday scenarios, you'll see that this question is not even a question. The person asking this question, for the most part, is not interested in your well being physically, emotionally or mentally. It has become, over time, just a greeting. A simple acknowledgment of your presence. It is now the equivalent of nodding to signify that the person saw you.


Think of the last time you were at any type of social gathering. What is the common etiquette for behavior when greeting several people in quick succession?

You walk into the room and greet the first person you see with a "Hi, how are you doing?" But you see someone right next to that person that you also know. Do you wait to hear the first person's response to your truly meaningful question? Or do you immediately shake the next person's hand and give them a similarly empty, "Hey, how's it going?" I'm putting my money on door number two here.

If we don't really care to hear the answer, why ask the question? Because it is not a question.

So really, if you think about it, this back and forth has no really value or depth for either person beyond a substitute for "Hello", "Hi". The person asking the question is not really interested in any serious explanation of where you are in your life, and how that may be affecting you on multiple levels, and the person responding to the question is usually not being honest, or really thinking about the question in the first place, generally spouting out something along the lines of "fine", "Alright", "not bad", "pretty good", and "can't complain". It's almost like a knee-jerk reaction.

Why do we find ourselves using such similar answers to this "question", when it is not always true that we are "pretty good" or "just fine"? My observations lead me to a few conclusions, some of which you've no doubt come to already.

The first, and easiest of these, is that during the evolution of this back and forth, we've learned, even if only subconsciously, that this is indeed no different then a short courtesy nod. It usually brings us no benefit to be thoughtful about this question, and give an open and thorough dissertation of how we came to our current state of being, if the person who asked you this insincere question has already put their attention elsewhere, and in fact, is most likely not very interested in getting a thoughtful reply.

The second reason deals with our fear of direct honesty. Yes, we all have some of it, even you. We fear expressing ourselves in a way that may make us feel or look vulnerable and flawed. We seek approval in the eyes of others, and it is for these reasons we are often quite weary of being upfront and honest, especially when the truth is not very pleasant. So in a back and forth rhetorical "dialog", it is easier to just depend on preset phrases, rather then open up emotionally and possibly make the situation awkward for those involved.

We seem to unconsciously agree on certain social standards and practices, and if you have ever tested this topic yourself, you may have noticed that some people (not all) will actually look surprised that you had something real to say to the statement. This tells me that most people are not prepared for a real conversation, therefore shame on you for putting them on the spot by making them think about what you said, and then "forcing" them to come up with something relevant to say. . . on their own!! *gasp!*

There are, of course, situations with close friends and family that the question has genuine purpose. You might even be interested in hearing the person's reply. (How kind of you!). But that is not the subject of this essay.

The phenomenon at hand has been very noticeable for me in the past, and again recently during my previous stint working the door for a downtown nightclub, and now working occasionally at the Soiled Dove Underground. Different patrons, same behavior (at least in this regard).

Going through a long line of people, checking IDs and/or taking tickets, I tend to say a lot of, and hear a lot of the aforementioned pseudo question. As I listed above, you rarely get someone straying from the unsaid script of how two strangers interact without divulging anything too personal. And it was in this onslaught of people, saying the same things person after person, night after night, that I got a bit irritated with the lack of exchange and decided to change things up a bit.

While still working at the clubs, I decided to have what little fun I could and play with people by simply seeing how (or if) anyone reacted to slightly vulnerable honesty, but spoken in the same tone and manner as you would by saying "doing fine". During my experiment, I was in the midst of some emotional turmoil dealing with my then relationship which was beginning to see some downs among the ups, which helped in the genuineness of my honesty.

This time, when the first patron walked in and acknowledged my presence with a question by saying, "Hey Niko, how's it going?" I replied calmly with:

"Shitty".

They took a moment, and did a double take. There was a wonderful pause where I could actually see the person being thrown off of the typical script, forcing them into the frightening world of spontaneous conversation that requires one to think.

"Um. . . what? . . . shitty? . . . . seriously? . . . I uh. . . Why?"

To me the rest of the dialog was irrelevant, all I wanted was to shake some people out of the expected exchange of a non-question, and pointless answer. I really had no desire to elaborate on my "shittiness".

These days at the Dove, I can achieve a similar effect by expressing how I am by responding, "Mediocre". Which for the most part is true. I also enjoy making things more uncomfortable and unexpected by going off on long diatribes on the factors leading me to whatever current state I may be in, of course making it a point to be as personal as possible. This last part works best if people first inquire into why you are in such a state. It actually puts a smile on my face watching people react to something they are not used to, namely, openly honest conversations about emotional and personal situations with total strangers. It's really fun.

I've even been thanked from time to time for my honesty, which as demonstrated, seems to be quite rare.

The point of this is not that everyone needs to be blunt and emotionally vulnerable all the time, although I do feel that it is healthy and personally beneficial to learn this skill (yes, honesty is a skill, which needs to be practiced and honed over time). If anything, I just like to make people aware of little things within our culture or human behavior that we may take for granted.