Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Hip Hop Essay Part 1: The Music

Hip Hop Essay Part 1
Hip hop part 1: The Music

Welcome to my two part commentary on Hip Hop music and culture. Please understand that what follows is just one person's opinions. You are not required to agree. I would like to also acknowledge that the following dissertation applies only to mainstream hip hop music and culture (MTV, Radio, mass media), and I do understand that there are many underground artists that do not fit into the arguments and points stated below.



Once, a long long time ago, there was an era where in order to be in the music "business" (I use the word business in quotes here due to the fact that up until the 1950s the music business wasn't the billion dollar empire we know and love today), you had to be a musician. Now, call me old fashioned if you want, but I am still of this mindset. You may be asking, "What does this have to do with Hip Hop?!" Hold your horses my fine feathered friend, and do read on.

Generally, a person would spend a great deal of time practicing their instrument, and gaining experience writing songs, melodies, chord patterns and the like. This simple aspect, I feel, is missing from today's mainstream hip-hop scene.

To me, it separates the genre further out from most other forms of music, in that the namesake behind many of today's most over-saturated "artists" are not musicians at all, hence, one who creates or plays music. Instead, this portion of the song (see: any and all musical and rhythmic anything) is farmed out to the role of the Producer. The Producer's job inside the hip-hop arena, is to essentially create that "artist's" entire song from the ground up, while said namesake contributes Lyrics.

Luckily for this hip hop figurehead, his (or hers, but mostly his) producer has been nice enough to take all of the hard work out of making an album, leaving this person more time to spend yet unearned album-advance money on important things like rims and platinum-capped teeth. Can you imagine all the time this person would have wasted spending years learning an instrument, and learning to write songs even if only utilizing the most basic musical ideas? That path is for losers.

When I ask people why they enjoy hip hop, one of the first responses is usually something to the effect of: "I like music with a good beat". Lately, I have to admit, hearing this phrase makes me wince. I heard two people say this at work the other day when talking about getting new sound systems installed in their cars. "Gotta have my beats," one employee stated while bobbing his head to signify the "beats" he had to have. I think the reason this makes me upset is that when worded this way, it doesn't even sound like one is talking about music anymore, but simplistic ear-fodder for nodding.

I will concede here and admit that there are several hip hop songs with a very catchy groove pattern, coupled with memorable hooks. Usually very danceable, and I assume this is what people like about it. I too enjoy dancing, and I enjoy having good songs to dance to. But a song can still be memorable and catchy without necessarily being danceable.

One unfortunate side of this (at least for me), is the repetition of the programmed beat itself, and more often then not, the bass-line, and whatever extra layers therein. Now as we've just established, the majority of these mainstream hip hop songs are made with dance clubs as a priority, so redundancy can actually prove an asset when pounding a chorus into people's brains. I for one have never really been into grossly repetitive music, though I'm sure I still may be guilty of liking one or two along the way, which I freely admit.

On the subject of beats, I'm disappointed in the lack of creativity I hear in these over-played songs. I rarely, if ever hear a hip hop song pushing any experimental boundaries outside of the world of 4/4 time. Not that one has to have every song in 5/8 or 11/16 to be classified as "creative", far from it. I'm merely bringing up a simple observation that I just don't hear much variance across the board. An easy explanation for this could be that odd time signatures can make a song awkward to dance to...Or maybe no one cares to innovate and try new things.

Another thing I rarely hear, is a live drummer on hip hop records. If people think hip hop is really all about the beats, then why not get a live drummer on the tracks and have them play some great grooves that breathe and change during the song?

I recall seeing performances on television where big name rap stars had a full live band to back them for the one-off event. I remember thinking how much more interesting, energetic and enjoyable the artist/songs were with all of these musicians playing their instruments with him. Yet, when hearing the album version of the same song(s), I was disappointed to hear the same old drum machine beats, without the minor changes and nuances of a human player.

The next element is the actual music portion of the song, which by in large consists of a bass-line and possibly a few sound loops that repeat the same thing throughout the duration of the track. Not a lot to comment on here. This is obviously the least important part of the song, given its generally minimalistic nature and the lack of effort put into it. It's interesting to observe that in many hop hop songs, the "music" is the least important part of the music.

Lastly we have the lyrics. Yes, yes, how to begin? Let me start off by saying that I used to listen to a lot of hip-hop/R&B during the early 90s, when I was a youngin. Some of the artists people will shrug off and laugh at today, but never the less, I did listen. What I liked was the fun and positive vibe from the early days of hip hop, and yes, to tie into the paragraph above, the fact that many of the songs were great to dance to. But as soon as gangsta rap crossed into the norm, I transitioned into different styles of music.

I do understand that when gangsta rap first became popular, it did have a message and was portraying something that was real and hadn't been talked about much in music before. The lyrics spoke of injustices and hardships that most of middle-class America never paid attention to.

Jump forward in time and one gets the impression that mainstream rap has lost its message. I do believe that the basic concept of rap is rhythmic poetry set to a beat. If I am correct, let's go down the checklist.

Beat? Check.

Rhythm? Check.

Poetry? .................um....sometimes?

It is in my humble opinion, that all the 'art' from hip hop has been gradually drained away (Once again, I am talking about mainstream, pop culture hip hop, not the select underground groups which don't apply here).

Music is supposed to be art. If the art from hip hop is no longer there, can it still truly be music?

You can try to follow along with the lyrics to many 'songs' these days, only to get quickly confused as to the point the rapper is trying to make. Random words and sentences sewn together in a haphazard tapestry of nothingness. Try to make sense out of a lot of these anti-lyrical lyrics and one starts to wonder if there really is any real point at all. Maybe the author is just writing over my head. Maybe his lyrics are too ahead of his time and will not be understood for another hundred years. Or maybe this all-wise author is actually too uneducated to form a serious and cohesive statement.

"But He's rhymin' yo. Dats poetry!"

I'm sorry friends, but rhyming for the pure sake of rhyming does not poetry make. Especially rhyming the same word with itself in excess of 3 and 4 times. Some of the better poetry I've heard in my lifetime has used free-verse non-rhyming schemes, therefore giving the author the room he needs to express his thoughts without the restrain of being confined to rhyming every or every other line.

And I don't care how many times you mention your own name in a song, you're still not convincing me that art is taking place here. In fact, the more I hear the artist mentioning his own name in the song, the more it becomes a commercial, not real music.

Most of what I hear these days, and for the past several years, has been a three and a half minute long self-glorification with a desperate plea for the world to "look at me!!"

Yes guy, I see you. Apparently you have a lot of money since to appear to be driving expensive cars and throwing one hundred dollar bills around like they are covered with the ebola virus. This is something I look up to you for, thanks for calling my attention to it. You know, now that I think about it, money is everything. And thank god I have money, because it also buys happiness.

Material possessions (including women), money and "look how cool I am", have been shoved in my face for quite sometime now. I get it. You have no real message. For all the repetition of "Keepn' it Real", there is not much real about it. It is an image, a style. A chance for people to hear them and think how cool/tough/pimpn' they are. There is not much to be admired about cocky, ego-centric boasting. If someone is truly "cool", they would not be so insecure as to have to point that fact out to you several times a day.

The lack of real self expression though poetry, or at least thought-out words, is quite evident. Where are these individual's thoughts and ideas? Where are their personal perspectives on life and all things within it? Is Hip hop a form of self-expression? If so, I'm still searching for any clear and real message beyond the childishness of the ego.

Though I feel like an ass saying this (sometimes), the more I consider all of these points, the less and less I feel that hip hop can even be considered music. I would love to see some new artists come out with something fresh, musical and artistic and prove me wrong. I really would.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Adventures Of Crack Guy and Neanderthal

Here is a great post about an odd story that happened to myself and my friend Ty one evening. I let Ty type up the experience and re-posted his memories of the night. Enjoy!

I get a call from Niko last night about how a girl has basically been calling him none stop to come to a house party that she’s hosting. Niko is debating on whether or not to go and would really like for me to buddy up with him so that he won’t have to brave the dangers of unknown house parties alone. Of course, with nothing better to do, I agree.


After picking up Niko we begin our long trek to an unknown location somewhere East of Denver. After about 45 minutes of driving and trying to figure out the directions this girl wrote out we eventually find the house. As we pull up we see some guy just standing in the garage. What could he be doing and more importantly, are we at the right house? We finally decide to just walk up to the house and investigate the situation. As we near the man we see that he is of mexican decent and at least 40 years old. Niko asks if Monica (the girl) is around and he says yeah, she’s in the house somewhere. We then enter into the house, and thus, a nightmare of a situation.


We enter and notice that there aren’t too many people in the house, probably around 20 total. The odd thing about the situation is that about half of them are seemingly 40 and up. Monica sees us, comes over and we shoot the shit for a while. She’s clearly drunk at this point and continually points out that she has a hair tie on her wrist so that if she has to throw up she’ll be prepared. That’s right, she’s a thinking women! As we hear her ramble on about things I don’t even want to recall I see this big mass of dark colors approaching me out of my peripheral vision. I turn to see what it could possibly be and it’s this giant white guy with long hair and a hoodie. He stands next to me for a few seconds and then he starts to ask me if I have any drugs, to which is say nay. As he is talking I can’t help but notice how much he looks like all of those "primitive man" pictures you see in science text books and evolution charts. He is freakishly tall (about 6’5"-ish), hunched over and incredibly bulky, he has a forehead that actually manages to stick out further than the rest of his face, he has the protruding brow and lastly an incredibly ape like mouth area. I have never believed more in evolution than last night. As if all of these things weren’t bad enough, when he opened his mouth it literally looked like a grenade exploded in his mouth. He had teeth pointing in just about every direction possible. As an added bonus his speech was really slow and his reaction time was even slower. We called him Neanderthal.


I do not know what brought this guy to me but my theories point to him seeing that Niko and I had long hair and thus he felt like we could relate to him. After talking to him for a few minutes he left and everything was right in the world again...or so we thought. This older guy comes stumbling out of the kitchen and notices Niko and I. He was probably 45, had a pony tail coming out of the trucker hat he was wearing, looked to be way to tan and for lack of a better description it seemed as though he didn’t have enough skin for his face. His face literally looked stretched. He, too, asked if we had any drugs, to which we said nay again. He then went on about how much he loved Alice Cooper and that people often times mistaken him for Alice when he would sing. This guy was by fair the most cracked out, drunk guy I have ever meet in my life. He was starring off into space, wobbling around violently, speaking with a slur, and wildly looking around in general. To boot, when he would open his mouth at all his lips would curl up and his teeth would be fully exposed.


Niko told Monica to help us get away from this guy and she clearly didn’t understand what he was asking because she just said out loud, for all to hear, "Let’s go downstairs!" Crack Guy, the aforementioned cracked out guy, was all for that idea as he followed us downstair. Once downstairs Monica and Niko took one of the couches and I was lucky enough to share a couch with Crack Guy. I got to hear about his his two ex-wives and about how they took everything from him. He then went on about his first ex-wife, whom he had a child with. And I quote,"When my first wife got pregnant *wobble wobble* she was like I’m gonna get an abortion and I was like fuck no you ain’t...this is my first child and you can’t be killing it. So she ends up having the child and like a week later she just leaves me. Then...the government came and took my child because I hadn’t been paying my income taxes and I was like man, I taught this baby how to shit and piss for like the first five years of it life and then they just take it."
This is basically the guys mentality, blame others for everything that happens to him. Plus, I don’t really think that the government is going to overlook poor tax management just because you taught a child how to piss and shit. He then goes on to point out that his first wife married four other times but now she wants him back because I guess he’s the real winner out of all the other guys.


Eventually Neanderthal finds his way downstair and he proceeds to play with these two children, one was 6 for sure and I’m guessing the other was 10-ish, that are running around in the house. They continually run past him and after a few seconds he reacts to the gust of wind he feels by raising his arms in the air and making a growling sound. This goes on for several minutes. He then proceeds to tell us "man, I love these kids man, it reminds me of my nieces that I use to play with." He literally told us this every other minute for probably 15-20 minutes.


Eventually Crack Guy and Neanderthal start talking about there high school days.
CG (Crack Guy): Man, when I was in school I was like a 3.22 student but like they called me F-Troop in gym class because I got an F in it.


N (Neanderthal): I know dude, I totally failed gym class too!
CG: All these bitches were like doing laps on I’m like up on the bleachers just like smoking a joint and shit.


N: Me too dude, I mean, the coach is like "go run laps and shit" and I’m like fuck you cause all he does is sit around while we run. So I would like go back behind the school and smoke some weed to man.


High five!


I think it’s very safe to say that both of these guys, mostly Crack Guy, are two of the biggest losers I have ever meet. I usually don’t like to make such huge judgments like this but I know this to be true. Crack Guy will now be the measuring stick by which I will measure all other losers I meet to. I think it’s also important to point out that Niko and I literally said nothing to Crack Guy. We would simply agree or smile at what he was saying and he probably talked to us for an hour and a half.


Just for added enjoyment, and a lack of any real place to put them, I’ve decided to end this blog with several quotes from Crack Guy. Enjoy.


"The way to make money is to like...get customers!"


"I knew Tony Hawk man...that guy was a bitch."


"Man, if you’re going to have to take a drug test and like...you’ve been doin’ drugs then you should get someone else’s piss. But remember, it needs to be warm. If it ain’t just pop it in the microwave for like 15 seconds. Pee should always be between 90-100 degrees."


"You know what I believe in? I believe that you shouldn’t hit women and you shouldn’t slap kids. That’s what I believe in. But man, if a woman hits you like a man...then you just slap her like a bitch. But I don’t believe in violence."

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Wow you like all types of music? Prove it!

Wow, fantastic! You really like pretty much everything?! Quite the wide range of tastes there friend!

I'm really sick of reading how people say they like "pretty much all types of music." What an extremely broad statement to make. If it were true, I'd commend you on being extremely open and diverse in your musical interests, but alas, it usually is all ignorance.

"What? How is saying you like all types of music, ignorance?!"

Hold on there sport, I'll tell ya.

Let's take one of aforementioned persons who claims to like all types of music. One thing I see pretty consistently is the following:

MUSIC: Rap, R&B, Pop, rock, pretty much everything! LOL!!

First off, stop typing "lol", it makes you look like an idiot. Secondly, a heaping four genres do not comprise the entirety of the music universe, giving you allowance to use the phrase, "pretty much everything". Why is it that people who say such naive things usually list their primary forms of music digestion as Rap and R&B?? (Rhetorical)

When I encounter such a person on the topic of music, I usually first congratulate them on having such an open mind, then proceed with my usual disarming:

So, do you listen to Country?

"No, I don't really like Country"

Oh. Well, do you listen to Progressive Melodic Death Metal?

"Huh? I don't like anything heavy with the 'rah rah rah' (makes silly growling sounds) stuff in it."

I see. Well do you enjoy Cajun Zydeco music?

"I've never even heard of that!"

So you don't actually like ALL TYPES OF MUSIC DO YOU!!!!!

People, it's okay to enjoy a certain type of music, or a small number of bands/genres. There are many things I don't enjoy myself. But please just acknowledge that there are more styles of music out there then what you can find on the radio and MTV. The moral of today's story: Stop saying you like all types of music. You are wrong.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Dating, Love and Physicality - an editorial

I've really come to feel disappointed in today's social morals and standard practices when it comes to dating. It seems to me that the majority of people in this generation seem determined to rush into physical intimacy as soon as hormonally possible. Sometimes as soon as the second, even first date.

Is romanticism dead? It truly feels that way to me more so these days when I observe my fellow men (and women). Such notions of romantic love seem to almost be shunned, viewed as if a toxic substance. Yet it is these very same ideals that I've embraced from a very young age, only to grow older and find out that a good portion of people today do not subscribe to these same principles.

And no, I don't blame society for what it is and what it wants to be, this is my personal problem. Maybe I've just been raised differently, but I've always viewed sexuality and physicality as being something with actual meaning, not something that is given freely to almost anyone. In my humble opinion, it devalues it. Sexuality for me denotes that something serious is happening in the relationship, regardless of what some people think.

Sometimes I feel I'd actually feel more comfortable a hundred years ago when dating was courting, and things were much more moralistic and proper. Obviously, this would come with it's own set of downsides as everything does, but I feel my mindset it more a kin with the ideas of romance, then blatant soulless sexuality.

There you have it in short. My current observations on all this silly stuff. I'm sure this bursts all of your collective bubbles on me being the rugged manly bad ass from Flavor Country. Sorry.

Monday, January 31, 2005

The stigma of long hair

This is becoming quite frustrating. What you ask? (You actually didn't ask anything, since this is a purely one-sided text-based dialouge).

I was surfing through Match.com the other day, trying to see if there were anyone of worth in Denver, when I made a startling discovery. It turns out that anytime I came across an attractive looking woman or a woman who sounded remotely interesting/intelligent, I also came across the following:

TURN OFFS: Long hair

TURN ONS: Everything about you in every single way...except for your hair.

Yes, The second one is completely falsified by me, but it's pretty much the point I am discerning from this. Apparently, long hair (on a man) is very, very bad. Now, I've seen some guys with horrible long hair before, but I didn't realize it was a universal opinion held by all women.

My conclusion is this: when people (see: females) see a male with long hair (even when it looks nice and is well taken care of), they automatically assume one of the following options and dismiss them:

A) He is a hippie
B) He is a 'goth' guy
C) He is a metal guy

Regardless of what you might think. I do not consider myself any of these previous options. I'm just a person who grew his hair out. I thought it looked nice on me, but perhaps I'm wrong.

Here is my question to you: is it possible in this day in age, to just simply be a regular man who just happens to have long hair? It seems to me, no. I'm not really complaining about anything, mind you, I'm just observing what I view to be a general standard. Which does kind of suck, but hey, most guys with long hair I've met, I usually don't like either, and they tend to fit one of the above mentioned categories as well. Email me and let me know what you think about this topic.