The National Anthem. Music, Politics And Pride.

This little ditty takes place just a few days ago at the restaurant in which I get yelled at.

We had changed many of the televisions to the football (futbol) game between USA and Mexico, which all of the kitchen staff was very excited about.

Again, I'm not a sports fan, but since it's something a bit different from what is normally on, I tried to watch a bit of it. Before the game started, they played both national anthems. (When is someone going to write The International Anthem? I'll let composer extraordinaire George Thorogood tackle that nuanced, multi-cultural melodic theme).

As the American National Anthem played, I mentioned to one of the kitchen staff that I thought our anthem sucked, from a musical perspective (because it does). He nodded, and did not seem to care one way or the other. Being from Mexico City, the American Anthem probably mattered not to him.

It just so happens that one of my managers was standing nearby and had overheard my comment.

When I asked that manager a bit later if I could take a break, he replied with:

"No, because you hate the national anthem."

He said this with a smile, intending to convey his comment as simply sarcastic, but he said it with such conviction, that one could tell there was a good amount of truth mixed in there as well.

I tried to clarify my comment by explaining that it was the musical content I objected to.

"It's just not a very good song." I said, as if that would make everything alright.

"What are you, a fucking terrorist?" According to him, I was now equivalent to a terrorist. And I'm sure you can easily see why.

You know terrorists, the kinds that commit violent acts of destruction and violence for religious or political reasons?

That's me.

Obviously.

I smiled at his silly comment, but again, as before, I could tell there was some truth in his comment. Part of him actually felt that I was on par with al-Qa'ida for my opinion on a song.

Again, with no luck, I tried to say that what I was really objecting to was the melodic content. I tried to tell him that I thought the song was uninteresting in its chord structure, rather predictable and bland.

My clarification appeared to work, as I was now upgraded from terrorist to Commy.

"Dude, you can't not like the national anthem," he stated.

When I asked him why, he said that the reason I cannot not like it is because it is about pride.

"Really?" I thought to myself. "I thought I was able to like or not like anything I so choose, and If I actually could not dislike the anthem then I would be living under a tyranny."

Of course, I did not say that. Actually, I only thought of it right now, so I was lying to you.

As he took a quick phone call, he said he was determined to win the argument.

Once he was off the phone, I decided to take his example to the extreme and apply that theory to everything. Maybe I could make a point.

"Let's say I don't like The Candy Man Can from Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. Does that mean I don't like candy?"

He raised an eyebrow at me as if what I was saying was really stupid. And perhaps it was, but it made sense to me.

"No man, that's not the same..."

I continued with another example.

"Or if I don't like the Beatles' "All You Need Is Love", does that mean I hate love, or just the song?

Again, he said that my examples were totally off. The anthem was different.

I disagree.

"Different how?" I prodded.

"If you don't like it you are a Commy, a Nazi, or a terrorist. Grow your mustache back Hitler!". He thought this was hilarious. (By the way I did actually sport a Hitler/Chaplin 'stache for a day at work, for a fun social experiment, and because I was bored).

I denied his insult-based-evidence and told him that if my other song examples do not apply to his theory that 'not liking a song about America instantly means I hate America', then he is being inconsistent and hypocritical with these arbitrary rules he wants to apply to only one song.

That is called special pleading. When you apply a rule to everything else but the thing you are arguing, or apply a rule to only the thing you are arguing, and ignore everything else. Sorry buddy, it does not work that way.

Imagine going to a retail store flying a large banner out side proclaiming that "Everything is on sale!" So you enter, and browse the aisles until you find the item you want. At the checkout the item rings up at full price. You stop the clerk and say, "Wait, that is supposed to be on sale." He says, "No, sorry, this is regular price." Confused you restate the rule of the sign, "I thought that everything was on sale?" He shakes his head, "Everything but this thing."

I'm guessing you might want to get rid of, or possibly change that sign that says everything is on sale, eh?

Sorry, I got sidetracked. I believe he was defending his reasons.

"No way!" he retorted. "You can't judge the anthem the way you can judge other songs."

"Bullshit!" I said, getting heated about this discussion, matching his intensity. "The national anthem is just a song, like any other song, therefore I can judge it as a song. And I think that it sucks... AS A SONG."

Obviously this conversation was going nowhere, as I saw the topic as one based upon music, and he did not make that distinction. There was no way I could see us coming to any sort of agreement.

I can't defend his point of view, but I sure can defend mine.

Music and message do not have to be synonymous. There are very political bands out there that have a strong liberal or conservative slant, yet not everyone who likes their music subscribes to the bands' views. It's possible that people can just like the music.

I've listened to a lot of black and death metal over the years, both with crazy lyrics talking about Satan, demons and disemboweling women through their Va-jay-jays.

Does that mean I agree wholeheartedly with those ideas?

Fuck no.

(Though I am a card-carrying member of the Satanic Vaginal Intestine Rippers Of Colorado (SVIROC))

Those lyrics are retarded, silly, childish, and absurd. But that doesn't change the fact that some of the music is super badass.

As I was ordering food through the bartender, the manager made sure to change my name on the ticket to "America hater", which he printed out with a laugh, and handed me his clever creation.

I laughed a bit, but really, I was thinking how much of a soar spot this topic had dredged up for him, even if part of it was a joke.

What I was starting to understand from him, whether partly in jest or not, was the lesson that pride in your country, based on simply being a citizen of the country, is, I'm guessing, quite important. Not really sure why, but it seems to be.

Let me ask you this: Are you proud of your local sports teams when they lose terribly? Are you happy with your favorite band when they finally put out a disappointing album? Are you proud of your child when he gets in trouble at school for showing his "pee pee" to the class?

Pride has its place, but as I see it, should be based upon accomplishment.

I am not pro-America, nor am I anti-America. There are times when I support my country, and times when I don't. And I don't have to agree with everything this giant country does as a collective. It's really pretty silly.

I owe this country nothing (beyond taxes), and it owes me nothing (beyond my tax refund). At no time am I required to like or not like something about it.

What almost scares me about this little, somewhat humorous exchange, is the notion that blatantly subscribing to nationalism via its self-promotional pride-for-the-sake-of-pride songs, is mandatory.

What were those last lines of the anthem again?

Something about home of the brave and land of the... of the... I guess that part does not apply to people with a different opinion eh?

I still stand by my initial opinion. The national anthem is not a good song from a (subjective) musical standpoint and has nothing to do with my political opinions.

What do you think? Does not liking a song about America make me into a terrorist-Nazi-Commy-traitor-socialist? And can I be redeemed if I enjoy America's "Horse With No Name?"


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Tags: national anthem america nationalism music politics pride nazi terrorist commy socialist