It is a simple question, but one that seems to rear its ugly head quite often these days for me, and for many of my friends.
Perhaps it may seem utterly ridiculous to you, and if so, just wait a few years until you get to enjoy one of many existential crises in which the very foundation on which you built your knowledge of who you are, and what you want, erode and crumble away beneath your size 7 Keds. (I don't wear those, in case you were wondering).
This is the real question people:
Why do anything at all?
Why?
Any and all things you want to do, or have to do, can be reduced to sub-trivial pointlessness with a series of negative and defeatist probing questions.
With myself, and so many of my friends fighting this battle of bleakness and self-sabotage, I figured it would make sense to give this concept some airing out, and maybe, just maybe, benefit some of you who may be struggling with the same jubilant thoughts.
...Well... Never mind.
After all, "What's the point?"
THE LOGICAL ENDPOINT
Over the course my recent intellectual furtherings ("furtherings" is not a word), I would often take any new philosophical idea to its logical conclusion.
Though I wish it always ended in some brilliant discovery of pure inspiration and fresh-from-the-oven genius, (and not that there isn't a moment of that along the way), it seldom does.
And what is that logical conclusion you may ask?
"So what?"
"Who cares?"
"Why bother?"
"Why even try?"
In my quest for understanding myself, and the world around me, when I peel back each layer of introspection, contemplation, revelation and totally-radical-awesomeness, I find myself at this familiar bottom layer of any idea, which seems to be the most elementary and primitive of all.
You are now on the bottom floor of the proverbial intellectual department store, with the sign reading, "Apathy, hopelessness, disillusionment, and square-tipped Italian leather douche shoes."
The depressing thing is that no matter how much I am able to convince myself of something's importance and relevance, it always ends up back at one of those self-defeating "answers".
Literally anything.
Meaning of life? "Who cares."
Relationships? "What does that matter?"
Career? "So what?"
Happiness? "Pfff... Pointless."
Let's work through some lofty goals to see how fast we get back to square zero.
WHY IS THAT VALUABLE?
My close friend Tommy suffers from the same negative mindset.
During a recent conversation, the two of us began talking about how some people become successful based off of superficial means, like their looks, or their willingness to abandon any semblance of personal, moral, or artistic integrity to make something happen.
Given that the two of us very much care about the art we create (for some reason. Pretty stupid huh?), Tommy contemplated the idea that "perhaps we should follow that path instead?"
My defense was to say that what we do requires actual skill, talent and years of work, thought and emotion to create. And in my mind, that was supposed to be positive.
His reply was simply, "Why is that valuable?"
Well, you see... because... creativity is... I mean art has a way of... well... people get affected by the... by the...
...I don't know.
I've always placed subjective value on things like music, art, creativity in general, and lately, stuffy areas like philosophy and psychology.
They feel (<---- key word) important to me.
But oh how simply they all come a-tumblin' down with the question, "why are those valuable?"
Well, why are they?
Who values them?
And why place such value on something so intangible?
Who is ever likely to experience the things we do?
And why would it matter to them?
Fuck, you're right! It's just a bunch of bullshit. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't seem that important.
It seems almost... *gulp*... valueless.
FOLLOW YOUR PASSION (LESSNESS)
I struggle with this devaluing-mindset-castration extremely often these days.
Finding a reason to continue doing something, damn near anything, is almost a day to day fight. And I'm not a fighter.
Which is why I figured that writing about this topic would be a good idea.
Or is it?
"So why write this article?"
Well, because it's on my mind, and it's something that I, and several of my friends deal with very often these days.
"And why does that matter?"
Well, sometimes just writing about something helps to frame the problem so that it can be worked on, and perhaps this might actually be helpful to other people.
"And you care about that why?"
I enjoy writing about this kind of stuff, and I also like to be able to offer perspectives to other that may benefit their lives.
"...and?"
What do you mean "and?"?! "AND" I get to help people. Well, maybe. Assuming anyone reads it, and connects it back to their own lives.
"How likely is that?"
I guess not very likely. Not many people read this, and some of the ones that do don't seem to understand that the point of telling these personal stories is to bring up a point about human nature, or the world, that they can apply to themselves.
"So why write this article?"
I don't know anymore. It seemed like something that would be a good idea, but maybe none of this matters.
Maybe nothing really matters.
THE ENTH DEGREE
Fun so far, eh?
No, it's not. And I am partially sorry about the gloomy nature of this essay, but it's an important road block that keeps many of us from accomplishing what we are potentially capable of.
For example, maybe you should try to get that promotion at work.
"Well, maybe, it does mean more money, BUT....
I'd probably have to work a lot more anyway, and I already don't like my job, and why would I want to try harder at something that has nothing to do with the person I am, and the things I really care about."
All right then, stay where you are at work. Perhaps you should try to meet someone new then. You know, date a little.
"Why? So I can get into a relationship? Sure it feels good at the beginning, but sooner or later, and usually sooner, one of you is going to fall out of love with the other, or you're going to get your heart broken, or one of you will die, or you'll get into a relationship that's 50 times more awful than just being alone.
No thanks!"
That's only looking at the negative, but hey, if that's how you feel.
What if you just tried to focus on being a little happier then?
"Happiness is for idiots! Only those who are truly unaware, or ignorant are happy. That would mean becoming stupider! Is THAT what you want me to do? Plus, being happy is so substanceless. It's empty."
Damn! So do something with substance then, if that's your thing.
"What's the point? So I do some art, or music, or writing, and no one knows about them, and they never go anywhere, and never affect anyone, and then I die. Sounds real important to me."
Whoa, whoa there Mr. Joyful. Fine, don't do anything then. I was just trying to help out.
"Why were you trying to help me? What does that matter to you, eh? None of the things we do here really make a difference, and if it does, it goes away within a matter of years. When we're gone, no one will care that you tried to help me, or her, or anyone. It won't make any mark. So why even do it?"
Jesus Christ man! You're just no fun to be around. I'm going home.
UNIVERSAL POINTLESSNESS
And just to make sure we cover our bases (in what, I've always wondered), the biggest and most cosmically significant perspectives for apathetic indifference to one's own existence:
DEATH
As I mentioned via use of a "character" above, one of the biggest ways to make anything seem quite meaningless is to throw in, "... and then we die."
Yes, I tell you, post death, no one will likely give two flaming shits about whatever it was that you cared about. And if someone else does care, they'll eventually die too, and then no one will remember you, or anything you did/created/thought/coughed up/ or dry humped.
Our brief stint with being conscious just takes the value out of things like work, entertainment and especially masturbatory pursuits like existential philosophy and psychoanalysis.
Who fucking cares!?
THE UNIVERSE
And if that's not enough, don't forget that even after our deaths, the Sun is going to eventually burn itself out, increase in size to engulf the whole galaxy, and then likely collapse into a black hole, sucking all matter near it into a cozy happy* singularity. (*"happy" void in Milky Way Galaxy during this time).
And if you need more global reasons for insignificance, the entire fabric of the universe itself appears to be expanding and also speeding up. Will it simply disintegrate into a fine ground powder, or will it eventually reverse and suck itself back into itself?
Who knows? Both scenarios are fairly cheery.
Either way, it kinda take the steam out of the things you care about in a given day:
"I'm going to write this book about..."
REALIZATION: You're just a blip on the universal time scale.
".... oh...." *Sadness commences*
REALIZATION: And time itself will eventually unravel.
".........." *Crushing emptiness*
THE VALUELESSNESS OF VALUE
And really, when you think about it, the strange concept that we humans have a need to apply almost anything in our lives with some made-up confines titled "meaning", "purpose", and "value", is completely pointless in itself.
Yes, that's exactly as far as I'm going with this: The idea that we even assign meaning to things is, in itself meaningless.
It's a subjective and arbitrary idea with no real grounding in anything, but it feels so important to us humans.
And it has no meaning.
Dear god man!
Why do anything!?!?
BEYOND SO WHAT
All right, all right.
So things can be examined with a very self-defeating razor, and many things we find important in our lives can be reduced to feeling pointless and worthless.
Nothing really has any meaning or value.
So, again, why do anything?
Because underneath it all we still care.
Even with a million points that tell us how it does not matter in the long run, somehow, it still does.
It's a tautology, but it's true.
We care because we care.
It matters to us, because it matters to us.
I bet that may seem too simple for some of you, but sometimes the answer is facepalmingly obvious.
Through over-analyzing anything with the sledgehammer of pessimistic apathy, we can quickly and easily reach what feels like the bottom of any argument: "So what?", "Who cares?", "What does it matter?".
But given some time to sit with that "conclusion", I often find myself still going back to the things I've written off as pointless and without meaning.
Why?
Somehow, I still care about them.
I do it because I want to.
It's as simple as that.
I keep writing essays, I keep making music, I strive to better myself, and even still search for something as silly as love.
Even though you can dissect any idea, motivation, goal, or priority in your life down to the level of "so what", over time you begin to see that that is no longer the bottom of the barrel. There is indeed another level below that murky, defeatist layer.
And that's the most basic core of desire, or want.
Accepting this premise, even though it takes time, may eventually be able to help you through your own bleak, self-sabotage, when you talk yourself out of doing something new and scary.
"Why is that important? What does that matter? What's the value in that? Who cares? So what?"
You care. That's what.
Deal with it.
Now do it.
You might also be interested in:
- Your Self Projection Has Potential!
- Outside Validation
- The Ebb And Flow... And Ebb
- In Defense Of Selfishness
- The Depression Panacea
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Tags: blog philosophy psychology humor sarcastic life+lessons self+help depression fear apathy who+cares so+what motivation meaning value pointless existentialism
