Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Gardening With God

There is a needlework plaque hanging on a guest bedroom wall at my dad's house. This plaque, put up by my dad's wife, is a simple nicety about one of her favorite hobbies.

However, upon seeing it, I was instantly put through a range of emotions and philosophical tangents.

The plaque reads: "One is closest to God in the garden."

I'm sure many people would read this warm, Hallmark-wall-medallion and give it a simple little smile, then move on. My fate would not be so easy.

WHERE ARE THOSE OLD BOTANY BOOKS?

It was late, and I should have been heading into a nice cushy sleep on my vacation, but because I over-think everything (literally everything, it sucks sometimes), instead I had to frantically jot down all of my thoughts and digressions, all due to a glance at a simple hobby-promoting wall-hanging.

What I began thinking was, 'what is the real intention of this plaque?' and 'what implied interpretations of its message are likely?' (Yes those are actual things that keep me up at night. Maybe I should get into a relationship or something).

Is it saying that working with plants gives one a feeling of spirituality?

Or is it trying to tell me that the one true path to being with God (the true God nonetheless), is through horticultural cultivation?

Is it? Shit! Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?!

But if gardening is indeed the way to be closest to God, what about church? It seems pretty pointless with the news of this revolutionary theological enlightenment on a wall plaque, yes?

And then I thought about who created the wall hanging. Isn't that plaque likely sewn by someone who already is a garden enthusiast? I would say, probably yes. I can't imagine a model-train enthusiast reluctantly sewing this plaque with a remorseful tear in his eye, contemplating all the time he wasted on his, enjoyable, yet non-godly hobby.

Which got me thinking that if this person already had a passion for working with plants, and also a belief in a supernatural creator being, it would be fairly obvious that they would feel, subjectively, that they were closer to that intangible feeling of oneness with the universe when they were focused on something they were extremely passionate about.

Does that mean that I can't be as close to this God because I like to compose music? I saw no plaque for that. To take things at face value (it's funnier), we can see that one person's creative passion is more favored by this supreme creator than another's. And according to the glaring absence on the wall, my personal passions are not among them.

Now I'll never achieve enlightenment!!

Any yet, were I a religious man, I would probably argue that no else could understand how it feels, in that wonderfully dream-like moment when I compose a new musical idea or song. The feelings are, in my experience, eqivalent to nothing. (No, not "nothingness". I mean I can not find anything to compare them to, like Sinead O'Connor). The process is really amazing, and cathartic. Honestly, like nothing else I've been a part of.

Therefore, I'll argue that God can only be achieved through musical composition. And I'm right.

Case closed.

Case reopened...

So if my dad's wife feels a strong spiritual connection while gardening, and I could feel the equivalent of that, through making music, and my dad could get that via writing a novel, what's the connection? As I sat in the bed, my hand cramping up from writing all of my mental vomit onto the page, I moved this concept from specific, to global, which led me to the unifying theme of the the wall plaque:

The personification of God.

That is some insight into how my mind works, when a silly grandma's-house needlework wall-hanging brings me into the concept of how people psychologically project themselves into anthropomorphizing God.

Dude, you wanna party with me sometime? (I sure can live it up... mentally.)

FRACTIONS OF FACTIONS

Throughout history, gods of all kinds (including "The God". You know, the ONE?) have justified, sanctioned and even ordered some of the most cruel, shameful, and over all anti-human events on record. Usually leading the charge were angry, obsessive, or power-hungry men who were magically spared the skeptical questioning or absolute horror and shock of society, because their cause was backed by God with a hearty thumbs up. Hence good. (Yea genocide!!)

In modern times, one quick look at all of the different denominations branching from, or connected to Christianity is absolutely mind-boggling. Some factions demand that you adhere to archaic rituals and live in a manner exacting of ancient peoples, and others are extremely wishy-washy and liberal, saying that "as long as you at least believe in God, you can pretty much do what you want," (Within reason of course... wait, did I just say reason?).

From an outsider's perspective, I often wonder why there are so many slightly different takes on what should be a fairly to-the-point philosophy. You are all basing this off of the same book right? (Well, except for the Mormons). So why all the disagreement?

People all over the world have radically different ideas of what and who God is (or if God is single or has extreme mutilple personality disorder). Does it not strike you odd that each god or gods that come from a particular part of the world, or group of people, seem to represent that group's cultural ideas and views on the world? It's almost as if it was the people that created the gods, not the other way around. (Of course there is no way that could be true, so calm down and enjoy that slice of pie).

Although, if there really was a god, (just one we'll say), you'd think that his message would have been a bit more clear, and above all, universal. Not transalted through the social, man-made ideologies and situations of that time and culture.

Ha ha, no. Just kidding. That is foolish. Of course the only way to know what God REALLY means is through loose interpretations and personal biases.

EVERYTHING IN MODERATION

I've had some experience dealing with what I call moderate or abstract Christians. These individuals vaguely believe in the "Christian God", Jesus, a soul, afterlife etc, but usually only the touchy-feely portions. (You know, the "nice" parts?). Many times these mushy-pseudo-religious people do not actually follow the Bible (they may have only read it when they were young), and don't really go to church (or perhaps only on the rare holiday). And yet, they seem to have a decent amount of "insight" regarding spirituality.

Personally, I've heard them make multiple pronouncements about Who and What God is without any real basis.

"I think that God would have no problem with this or that," or,

"if God is love, which I think he is, then he will love me no matter what I do."

Even when I bring up specific, negative examples of The God Of The Bible's opinions and actions, or scriptually-based contradictions they will usually be unfazed, responding with, "Well, I don't believe in all that stuff" Hmmm.....

If you don't "believe in all that stuff", where are you getting your ideas on spirituality from? You appear to believe in things that sound very Christian, yet you do not subscribe to, or even know about the things that Christianity is based on.

How nice for you.

And there is that dead giveaway in your language, buddy-boy, about the origins of your personal understanding.

"Think".

Everything they say is usually done through the ownership-phrase "I think". Not "I know", or "I've read". "I think", implying personal interpretation. Which is what we humans do best.

Again, how did you come to this information? Need some change? Here are two cents: you wanted to feel good about whatever it is you do and say, so, obviously, God should feel the same way. Why? Cause that makes you feel good. The two of you are luckily on the same page. How convenient.

LET'S GRAB A BITE TO EAT

Let's say you and I were meeting up at a restaurant for a bite to eat (pretty cut and dried so far). You arrive early, grab a table and start looking over the menu. When the server comes by, do you think it would be a tad presumptuous to order for me, without knowing what I wanted? Sure you might know me a bit, and think, "Niko likes gyros, so I'll order him that", or "Niko likes some of the things I like, and I'm going to get baklava, so Niko will want baklava too," but what if I wanted a Greek salad today? You don't know, because I never actually told you.

Seriously. Don't order yet.

So let's pretend there is a God (and he wants a salad. I just know). To presume you know the mind of a being that has shown you no direct evidence of particular opinions or desires, is to me, arrogant.

We all have an innate desire to feel a connection with the vast, distant universe. To feel like we know the will of something greater than us, yet something that still involves us. However, our minds can only ever know our own minds. So it's those people that claim to be a mouthpiece and "speak for God" that makes me most worried. (By the way, if God is all powerful and has something to say, he could just say it himself).

So when people make pronouncements about the mind and will of God, what are they really saying? I've found that it is the people with the strongest personal agenda to advance that most often claim to have God directly on their side.

BIASED OBJECTIVITY

As you all know by now, I dislike a lot of things. And not liking a lot of things, as I do (or don't), I very feel strongly about the plethora of things I don't like, and in most cases, have a long list of itemised and officially-notarized reasons contributing to my opinions on something. Because my views are so "documented", so to speak, it feels as if these views should be completely objective, as if everyone should have these same opinions, after all, they are so obvious, aren't they? (Yes).

If my views feel universal (and they do), then there must be something to them (there must), and it can feel as if the conscious universe itself shares in my hard-edged elitist ideas (it does). If it feels that way, it must be that way (I already said that), and POOF!... it is that way.

WOW! IT IS!!! I WAS TOTALLY CORRECT!!!

It's funny (ha ha ha ha! See?) how God seems to confirm the things that we already want to be confirmed, and disavow the things we want to have disavowed. Again, quite convenient. And with so many different beliefs and views in the world, this higher force must have a few billion different, equally strong, equally conflicting opinions. Seems plausible.

For instance:

Do you hate gays, liberals, democrats, or fictional children's books with a flaming (pun) passion? I bet your God hates them too.

Do you feel that the highest virtue in life is to love all people, all the time, everywhere? I bet your God loves everything too.

Think that you're a good person? I have a feeling your God has created a personalized super-awesome-happy-place for you... after you're dead.

Think that Terry is a awful person? Yep, your God feels that way too, and probably created an all-bad-all-the-time place just for Terry... after he's dead.

Like anchovies? Because your God loves 'em!

Hate anchovies? God finds them an abomination!

Do you enjoy gardening?

Well, in that case, I have a house warming gift for you.



Related blogs:
The Inefficacy Of Prayer
All Truth Is Relative... And Equally Not
The Feel Good Fix
Self-Perception: What A Beautiful Thing!

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